Virtual Book Tour III Ethan Watters, Urban Tribes: A Generation Redefines Friendship, Family, and Commitment 01/04

"Can you feel the friendship among these people? Can you imagine yourself as part of this group? Do you find yourself thinking, "I'd probably like these guys. I'd like to meet them." Hundreds of people have sent me photos of their urban tribes along with descriptions of their groups. From their perspective, these photos are evidence of the warmth and meaning of their group. As a stranger looking at the picture, however, I've found it remarkably difficult to feel the positive emotions the sender was trying to illustrate. Worse yet, I sometimes catch myself finding fault. The women in the group above are pretty and the men are athletic and hunky. Would they want me hang out with them? If I suspect he answer might be "no," I feel an almost knee-jerk need to dismiss them first. Too white, too good looking, too colligate, too professional – there's a million ways to go. My reaction illustrates a problem at the very foundation of my book: Groups of friendships are deeply difficult to understand emotionally from the outside. We can put ourselves into a love story easier than we can put ourselves into a story of a group of friends." Ethan Watters

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